Remove the old stones...

So I was reading through Leviticus today and I came across this passage that I really feel like the LORD was speaking to me in regards to some areas of my life. It is in chapter 14 where the LORD is talking to Moses and Aaron about disease in the house. Bear with me for a second as I try to explain what I felt the LORD telling me. I feel as though I am the house in this situation...

"...he who owns the house shall come and tell the priest, 'There seems to me to be some case of disease in my house'...and he [the priest] shall examine the disease...and if it appears to be deeper than the surface...they take out the stones in which is the disease and throw them into an unclean place outside the city. And he shall have the inside of the house scraped all around, and the plaster that they scrape off they shall pour out in an unclean place outside the city. Then they shall take other stones and put them in the place of those stones, and he shall take other plaster and plaster the house. 

If the disease breaks out again in the house, after he has taken out the stones and scraped the house and plastered it, then the priest shall go and look. And if the disease has spread in the house, it is a persistent leprous disease in the house...and he shall break down the house...and he shall carry it out of the city to an unclean place...

But if the priest comes and looks, and if the disease has not spread in the house after the house was plastered, then the priest shall pronounce the house clean, for the disease is healed...so he shall make atonement for the house, and it shall be clean." --Leviticus 14:35-53

I feel as though there is "disease" in my life that I need to get rid of. I recognize what it is, and as I begin to examine it, I find that it is deeper than the surface. I need to allow the LORD to go in and remove the stones of disease in my life and take them so far outside of my life that there could be no way for them to creep back in. I need Him to scrape out the plaster of my inner being and replace the old stones and plaster with new eternal things that will last, and build up the Kingdom. In the past, I have not allowed God to fully remove the "disease" and cast it so far away that I could never go back to it. It has been a persistent leprous disease in my life, and I want God to break me down. Ultimately I want to be clean and healed as Christ has made atonement for my sin.

I hope you were blessed by this small revelation God has given me. I love you all so much and I pray that God continues to work in each and every one of your lives daily! Thank you for sharing in a little bit of my life...

accomplish YOUR purpose in me

"For as the rain and the snow came down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall my word be that goes out from my mouth; it shall not return to me empty, but it shall accomplish that which I purpose and shall succeed in the thing for which I sent it."

--Isaiah 55:10-11

LORD, this is my prayer--that You would accomplish Your purpose in me!

finding my purpose

Lately it has been hard for me to focus on the seemingly trivial tasks at hand as I look forward to the World Race.  I have been struggling to find my purpose for being here, in Colorado, during this specific period of time.  I am helping coach volleyball at CCU and I'm still involved with the youth group at my church, but all these things seem so small in comparison to what I will be doing a year from now.  I know I am exactly where God wants me to be right now, but that doesn't mean I do not still struggle with finding my purpose and identity.  

We had a tournament in Kansas this past weekend, and during the 7 hour drive on the way there, I listened to a sermon that hit me right where I was at.  It was as if God was speaking directly to me!  The whole thing was about finding our identity in Christ, rather than in what we do.  This seems to be a recurring theme in my life over the past few months as I have begun placing my identity in the wrong things, even though they are good.  The point of the sermon was that when we find our identity in the "good things" that we do, we begin to get prideful.  Even though we may not verbalize it, we are often thinking, "Look at all these great things I'm doing to serve the Lord," but often we are trying to do them on our own.  

I have been really convicted of this lately as I have begun preparing for my trip.  I put in a lot of time and effort working on my support letters and World Race blog, but I haven't been putting in much prayer.  Same with coaching volleyball and being a leader at youth group--I have just been going along through the day-to-day tasks, but I have hardly put any prayer into either of those.  I really need to be more intentional about covering everything I do in prayer and letting God use me and work through me.  

Last night as we were on our way home from Kansas (after winning 2 matches!!), I came across this verse in Exodus and it was really encouraging to me as I have been struggling with finding my purpose:

"For this purpose I have raised you up, to show you my power, so that my name may be proclaimed in all the earth."

--Exodus 9:16

That's all I need to know and I need to be constantly reminded of the fact that the reason I am here is to make His name great!  Glory to God!

Last night as I was reading in Hebrews 11, God really started speaking to me through the following verses and it was really encouraging as I really began thinking and questioning myself yesterday...

"By faith Abraham obeyed when he was called to go out to a place that he was to receive as an inheritance. And he went out, not knowing where he was going." (Hebrews 11:8)

I just really feel God telling me to obey him, and go where He has told me to go even though it is unfamiliar to me. So many times God uses unfamiliar and uncomfortable situations to bring us to a place of brokenness where we have to completely rely on Him. I truly think He uses these times of total surrender to teach us that He is all we need, and it is through these times that we grow and mature the most.

"If they had been thinking of that land from which they had gone out, they would have had the opportunity to return. But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one." (Hebrews 11:15-16)

This verse reminds me to look forward toward the vision God has given me and called me to as it is a part of His perfect plan. If I look back, I will want to stay in the comfort of the US; but as I continue to look forward at His will for my life I realize I am contributing to the Kingdom, which is really my purpose here on earth.

I am so thankful that God continues to speak to me and sustain me even through my doubts. He always remains faithful!!

No turning back now!

I have sent in my first round of paperwork along with my support letter and deposit for The World Race, which means I will be committed soon--no turning back! Some days I am so excited and can't wait to leave, while other days it still seems so far away and I feel like I'm not ready at all. I get on the World Race website almost daily and read blogs posted by people who are currently on the trip. I love reading their stories and looking at pictures, knowing that will be me in a little less than a year! The sermon at church yesterday was about having a vision and how it pulls you forward in life, so you don't get stuck in a rut or complacent. This is so true in my life as I look forward to this next year, and ultimately the World Race!

Volleyball starts today. It's really weird not being there for all the boring first-day-of-preseason meetings. It is definitely a good feeling though. I feel like I ended last season with a bang, so that brings closure. I'm not hoping and wishing I had another season to get out there and prove myself. Senior season was the best I could have ever asked for in every way! The best group of girls, great coaches and athletic director, and I think I played the best I ever have. I truly began to understand what it means to play for Christ and giving Him the glory!! That brings so much freedom that I have never had before!

As you may know, I will be helping with volleyball this year as a volunteer assistant coach. My role will be more of a spiritual leader than an actual coach, and I am so excited to still be able to pour into the girls this year!! I also get to practice and travel with the team, which will be so much fun! :) I am finishing up 3 general education classes online this fall, then student teaching in the spring. I will be graduating next May, and leaving for The World Race in July!

accepted!

Yesterday I had my One-on-One with a representative from AIM (Adventures in Missions).  Basically, she told me I was ACCEPTED into the program and she went on to tell me about the next steps of the process and sent me a ton of paperwork to read and fill out in the next couple of weeks.  As I began reading through it all yesterday, I had so many thoughts running through my head:  I am so excited to see what God has in store for me in this next year of preparation for The World Race.  I need to make sure I can take time off student teaching next spring to go to the mandatory 10-day training camp.  How in the world I will be able to fit everything I will need for a year into a bag that I can carry on my back?!  I have never been good at packing, but I have a feeling by the end of this trip I will be a master packer! :)

Through this whole process, this verse keeps coming up:

"He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it."

--1 Thessalonians 5:24

I have faith that since this is all part of God's plan for my life, He will somehow fit all the pieces together perfectly!

Update

Just thought I should give you all an update on the process...

I received an email from The World Race a few weeks ago saying if I completed my application by July 20th, I would still be eligible for the $13,800 trip.  Otherwise, the cost would go up to $14,300.  I sent it in on time and set up a phone interview, which I did last Thursday.  Thanks for all the prayers--it went really well!!  I got an email a couple days later saying to call sometime this week for a One-on-One and they will fill me in on the next steps of the process.  Things seem to be moving along, which makes me more and more excited every day!

On a more random note, I have decided to grow my hair out from now until I get home from the trip in July 2011.  I plan to donate it to Locks of Love when I return.  I have also decided to start trying something new (food) every day until I leave.  For those of you who know me, you have probably discovered that I am the pickiest eater you have ever met!  So far, I have tried orange chicken, fried rice, chow mein, and onions.  And last but certainly not least, I am working on reading through the entire Bible before I leave next July!  I have already learned so much and have been so blessed!!  I can't wait to see what else God has in store for me this year :)

Well, I think that's all for now...I will continue to keep you updated throughout this process.  I really appreciate your support!  Thank you and I love you all very much!